Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Still here... still struggling... plus some schadenfreude

This past Thanksgiving marked 11 years since my Celiac diagnosis, which came when I'd already been dealing with several food allergies. I wish I could say it's gotten easier. In some ways, it has. At least I know the ins and outs by now of what I can and can't eat. But it's still hard. I stepped away from this food-related blog for a long while because.... I'm burned out. I'm burned out on cooking. I'm burned out on having to think about food all the time. I'm burned out on having to sit in restaurants watching my friends eat while my stomach growls and I pretend not to be hungry. I'm burned out on not being able to grab a scone with my coffee when I'm out in the afternoon. I'm just plain burned out. I didn't want to spend more time writing about it.

But I'm opinionated. I have a blog for the artsy side of my life, but it isn't really the place for these sorts of things. I started missing the idea of having a place to gripe about doctors, the diet and uncaring omnivores who can still eat pizza and enjoy the offerings at the annual Christmas potluck. I started missing the Mad GF Cat. So, after a long hiatus I think I'm going to return once in a while.

Only I think the title might need some readjusting, at least in spirit. Since I last was here, I've added another diagnosis to my collection. It turns out I also have M.S., and have had it for at least 12 years, but was misdiagnosed by one specialist after another for 10 of them. I guess in spirit it's more the Mad GF-MS Cat. I've been feeling burned out on a lot of things lately.

I recently had a doctor's appointment. I actually like my doctor and don't wish him any unhappiness. But he, like so many, has never really seemed to understand my gluten diagnosis (which came from elsewhere), nor been particularly understanding about the practicalities of the diet. "What's so hard about it?" he once said some years ago. "Why would you have to cook more?"

During my appointment the other day, he let it slip that a member of his family has been found to have... a gluten intolerance. "It's horrible," he sighed. "It's so hard to find anything to eat! It's so hard to eat out!" And, he informed me dejectedly, "Gluten free bread is terrible."

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